Looking Back with John Mayer & Orpheus

When I was in elementary school, I used to hang around my dad's law office a lot. It was just him and me for a long span of time, and I was too young to be at home by myself, so that's where I went. It wasn't as bad as it sounds though - there were tons of things to do around the office, and around Seattle's world famous Pike Place Market, like watching all of the vendors chop fish up, and buying mexican jumping beans. But the best part about being around there was hearing his secretary tell my stories from Greek mythology. I would kulit her to tell me stories everyday.

My favorite (that I heard from her) was that of Orpheus. He's the dude that fell madly in love, and when he and his girl was wed, a snake bit his beautiful bride, and she died instantly. Sucks, huh? Well, he goes to the underworld, persuading all the right people / gods along the way with his musical skills to let him go and get her. So a deal was made. He could have her back. All he had to do was walk out the same way he entered, and she would follow him up. The catch: He couldn't look back - even to check if she really was following him. Just as he emerged from the underworld, he looked back because he didn't hear any footsteps behind him. Lo and behold, he saw her - but just long enough to see her face for a split second before he lost her (again) forever (again).

Anyway, I was reminded poor ol' Orpheus because I've been listening to John Mayer's song, Comfortable, trying to play it on the guitar. And I had the chance to really listen to the lyrics - and they are just irritating. He's reminiscing about this relationship he had. He's seeing some new girl who appears to be perfect - bible-reading, life-of-the-pary, artsy, okay-with-everyone type of girl. But despite her perfection, he craves for his flawed, foul-mouthed, reckless ex. Basically, he's trying to say (as the title insinuates) that his relationship with his ex was comfortable. And I start to confuse myself, as I tend to do, and turn off the music to reflect.

Why look back?

I thought about looking back and why people do it. You'd think we do it solely for the sake of remembering. But I think we do it for more reasons besides reminiscing. I think most of us look back because we naturally possess a few negative characteristics Orpheus and Mr. Mayer had: Lack of trust, attachment to the past or personal comfort zones, and fear of the future.

Poor Orpheus, I know. I might have looked back if I were in his kicks. But GIVE ME A BREAK. You go to the UNDERWORLD to get her back. I'm sure that wasn't a piece of cake - going to the underworld? I would have been scared outta my wits. But you go through it because you're soooo "determined" to get the girl back. And you have the chance of actually succeeding to do so! I mean, take the risk! Just don't look back! You've gotten that far...

And John, John, John. Keep your eyes off your comfort zone. You left for a reason - don't look back. Do you really want to be sucked back into your comfortable relationship with the girl who rides in shopping carts, and swears profusely? How are you supposed to move on to greater things when you don't wanna let go of the past? You can't reach heaven with one foot on the ground. It's yes, or no. Simple as that. Hard, maybe, but simple. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

By the way, who made that that saying up? It doesn't make sense. You can have your cake, but you can't eat it. So what were you supposed to do with it in the first? Smudge it all over your face? It's like saying, Okay, Jena. Here's your cake. But you're only allowed to wear it on your head. Don't eat it. That would be too much. Unbelievable.

Happy Birthday, Roks!



It's pretty lame that I almost cried at Roxanne's surprise party tonight. I don't know why. I had my trembling, cheezy smile on my face, and it was just gross how arte and mushy I felt. Guess I was just really happy for Roks. Haha!

We wanted to do something really big for her. But even though it wasn't, everything turned out really good, despite the last-minute planning and rainy weather. Everyone was right - she'd have fun no matter what. And we were all pleased that Roks enjoyed her night =) Plus that whole Ernie and Barb Wire thing was pretty hilarious.

Thanks to everyone who came despite the horrible weather! Muah muah muah muah MUUUUAHHHH!

Chandler

Monica: Chandler, you're panicking!
Chandler: Uh huh! Join me, won't you?!

I would like my future husband to have these kind of replies up his sleeve. Hehe...

The youth, the youth, the youth is on FIRE!


we don't need no water, let...

Well, y'all know the song - you got the gist. Hehe...

Amazing. Even though I didn't go, I got to see first hand the impact Campus Harvest had, and the mighty way God moved through the lives of those who attended. My nephew and cousin came home today from Baguio. And right when they walked through the front door, I heard lines like,

Ang ganda! Enjoy! I didn't want to go at first pero now? No regrets! At first 'kala ko mga weirdo ang Christians, pero 'di pala! How can I invite kaya my friends to church?!

God is so amazing. And Pat?! Wow - talk about COMPLETE TRANSFORMATION! I know he always felt like he didn't like going to Youth on Fire every week. He "appreciated the wisdom" of the pastors, and loved how they'd joke. But never would you see him even belt out a single lyric of a song to praise Him. When I asked him how the music team did, he started singing lines to the songs! Grabe. Even though I wanted so badly to go, there must have been a purpose as to why I wasn't permitted to. Maybe it came down to either me or them going. And I would have chosen them over myself anyday.

I had a great conversation with my sister yesterday. Initially, the call was merely to greet her for her birthday. But when I asked her about how her walk with God was going, great news started pouring in! She told me about how she and her son had been attending bible studies regularly, they've both been baptized, and about the overwhelming grace God's been giving them. And!!!!! She told me that two more of my nieces accepted Jesus! PRRRRRRRRRRRRRAISE HIM!

The news was not only joyous, but it kinda taught me something, too. At the beginning of the year, I was praying and fasting for the salvation of my family. But so soon?! I would have never guessed that God moves so quickly. And I truely believe that He answers prayers. But what I learned was that He can do things EVEN IF WE DON'T!

No, I'm not saying slack off, don't go to class, and forget studying - and as long as you pray to God that you'll graduate with honors, you will. But my sisters all live in America. I've never had the chance to even tell her about God, and one of them started to follow Jesus a few months ago. Now her kids are, and another one of my brothers' kids are!! He's movin', y'all! And he's moving in my family despite the fact that we're all so scattered :)

It's amazing, really. For those that really know me, and know how my family is - you guys know how big this is. This time right now is definitely up there with my happiest moments ever.

Thank you, Good Housekeeping

Are you supposed to italicize titles of magazines? Oh, well. I don't care.

I was out buying one of the boys' school supplies and uniforms today (by the way - don't ever tell me God doesn't answer prayers. As long as they're His will, you've prayed faithfully and fervorously, He will... it just might not be immediately, but He's faithful! I was scared that Francis wouldn't be accepted into the 5th grade. And we found out he was yesterday!). And amidst the hustle and bustle of back-to-school shoppers, I was getting flashbacks of last school year. But at least with one school year experience behind me, I was more prepared. I made a list of things we NEEDED prior to leaving the house, along with an estimated price list, lest I end up overspending by buying unnecessary items. More importantly, I made an outloud vow to my reflection in the mirror not to go into Surf World, even if I just wanted to "look".

While I was standing at the counter inside the book store, I caught sight of the May issue of Good Housekeeping, with the mom-to-be Donita Rose on the cover. I like her hair, I thought. I hope I'd be that pretty when I'm 7 months pregnant. No, Good Housekeeping wasn't on my list. But for quite some time now, God has been been insinuating that I'm already 21, and should start taking WAY better of my household and nephews. I asked the woman behind the counter how much it was. P95. She asked me if I wanted to get it, and I was almost embarrassed when I told her I needed to see how much the total was before I committed to buying it. Hehe...

Well... I read through it a couple hours ago, and I've decided to buy one every month. Reasons? Number one: I felt the strongest urge to start drinking 8 glasses of water everyday, due to the information I read in the article about colon cancer. Number two: Donita Rose's story on her pregnancy totally made me all teary-eyed, and I started thinking about my future husband, and having kids, etc. (hehe)... Number three: The parenting advice!

I learned so much in just 45mins of reading! I know! I couldn't believe it either! Examples, you ask? OH shOOOOr!

• Don't forget to name label your child's school supplies (pencils, pens, notebooks, etc.) lest they get lost and find their way into the hands of a mischievous classmate.
  
  
• Set up a corner to store all kinds of classroom supplies and requirements you need to keep handy so they don't get lost. The mag is recommending one of those see-through cabinets to keep everything in - well-labeled of course. I guess I should buy some of those white label stickers, too, to print the labels. OOOHHHH! Here's a thought! I can get cute, colored ones! (Oh my goodness, I could almost picture myself becoming obsessive compulsive............. nah - never that)
  
  
• Baon. I know it's important to eat healthy foods, but I'm starting to realize that it's not just me anymore. And if someone was to raid my kitchen, you'd find a million cans of Coke and grape sodas, Flamin' Hot Cheetos, and Lucky Me products. The mag says it's a fact that kids who eat healthy, balanced meals can concentrate better in class. And on top of that, I don't want the boys ending up with colon problems. Plus, they gave recipes for healthy snacks and meals that sounded yummy :)
  
  
• Kids need to be more informed about kidnappings. I don't want to scare them, but I do need to talk to them more about strangers. I tried remembering, and realized that the only things I still remember from kindergarten are: don't talk to strangers, if someone tries to kidnap you, start screaming at the top of your lungs, and don't let anyone touch the parts where your bathing suit covers. What can I say? There's American safety training for you. Maybe that's why I'm so obsessed with my "personal perimeter" and so irritable with people that are touchy (not emotionally - just touchy). Hehe

Ang dami, noh?! Amazing magazine. Can't wait till the next issue.

Well... I'm starting to feel like this was the most boring entry I've ever written. If you're just waking up and barely realizing that you've fallen asleep at your desk while reading this, I would like to send my heartfelt apologies to you, and assure you that there will not be another entry like this ever again...

Err... scratch that. MOST LIKELY there won't be - that is, until the next issue of Good Housekeeping comes out next month. MUUUUUUUUUUAHHHHH!

UA&P's dumb transferee policy

Of the 5 friends of mine who applied as transferees at UA&P for this semester, 4 have been rejected. The 5th doesn't even want to check - says he doubts he got in anyway.

I recently spoke with someone from OSA about it - he said that admissions are attempting to raise the bar for transferees because last years batch proved themselves to be "unworthy". According to him, 150 students from my batch were let go due to failure of passing the needed GWA. But what I'm failing to see is how transferees are connected to this. I was a transferee. I made the GWA cut-off.

Yes, the university's policies are not solely based on Jena. Nevertheless, they are prejudging. So what if last years transferees didn't do all that great? That group of less than 150 students do not necessarily represent all of the transferees hoping to attend UA&P from here on out, do they?

I feel sympathetic for my friends that didn't get in. I can totally imagine how they might be feeling right now. Last year, after my years-long playtime, God pulled me out from the big ol' hole I dug myself into and put the urge in me to go back to school. Everything was set. A cousin recommended UA&P to my dad for me, so I applied. Wow, my family must have thought. The high school drop-out, sakit sa ulo of us all wants to go back to school. For the nth time! Let's see how this time around will turn out. The ideal support group (Thank you God for being faithful, by the way). Had I not been accepted, my self-esteem and confidence would have surely taken a turn for the worse.

It's a good thing my friends haven't lost hope. Well, 4 out of 5, at least haven't. Even though it'll be tiring and pride-striking to keep going back and forth to admissions making their appeals, they are up to it. And they can count on me for encouragement and assistance whenever they need it (that's right guys - I'm here for ya!).

And I will also be available to participate in any UA&P Complaint sessions / Reform Our School Movement meetings. My email address is changethecampuschangetheworld@almostthere.com if any of you are interested. HAHAHA!

Making sama

I want to make sama. Destination: Baguio. Meeting time: 1am. Rendezvous point: Jenabanena's. Estimated travel time: 6 hours. Participants: NOT JENA.

I know, I know. Whiners are weiners. I'm not gonna whine and complain in this entry. Nope, I am not. Piepie lent me her nifty-difty cowboy hat to feel better. And after 4 hours straight of wearing it, I am feeling better.

Nevertheless, I've been thinking about the various possible reasons I wasn't allowed to go. Well, the daddy-given reason was... hmmm... let me try to recall his exact words... Umm, I cannot see clearly why you need to be involved with these things. Everytime I call you, you are at church. Then you say you want to help make things right for the kids... But your focus seems to be elsewhere. Don't be like your brother - all talk. Maybe you should change your name to Erica, because you're starting to show his tendencies.. Then the rest sounded like, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... And blah, yadda, yadda, blah blah."

That reasoning is plain ridiculous to me, though. Of course, I love my nephews - more than anything else in my condo right now! Of course I want the best for them. And my all focus may not be on THEM persay. But nevertheless, I wouldn't create a situation where they would be harmed. And NO I shouldn't change my name to Erica (I HATE that line, by the way. Ever since I was little - ughhhhh! So corny.) and my actions, in no way whatsoever, manifest any of Eric's childish, irresponsible selfishness. Whatever, Dad. Buti nalang I'm an obedient daughter. Because temptation was creepin' - I could have forced my issue and just went. But I know that everything happens because they were meant to happen...

Earlier today, I got to listen to a very powerful talk today. The speaker - Peter, I think his name was - talked about what might be hindrances keeping us from doing our thang. And it struck me. Since summer began, I'd invite people to join cell... but when they'd ask when, I'd say, I'd have to fix a schedule for it. That was true naman - I really did need to fix a time and day of the week where we could meet and hold cell.

Time passed... And before I knew it, it was them approaching me asking when our bible study would be! And all I could say was, "I'm still fixing a time, I'll just let you know."

LIAR LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE! I hadn't been fixing a schedule.

How could I have been such a procrastinator?! And on something I had actually been praying for?!

I may not be going to Baguio this week... But I am going to do cell on Monday.

*Jena takes the dumb cowboy hat off*

English Lesson from Jenabanena.


Pie: beginner's lounge 2
Pie: i'll make a table... wait lang
Jena: we're all gonna lost to piepie
Mick: wadda english
Pie: hahahhahaha

Still....

Jena: i should just buy a bored
JA: a bored?


I fear that I'm beginning to forget how to speak the English language. Hehe, ang labo.

Change.

The Philippines nation is desperate need of it. We can state the obvious and talk about the corruption and inadequate leadership. Yes, it's sad... Yes, it's pathetic... Yes, it's embarrassing. But the difference may not be only in the crappy politicians. The difference may be in a lot of the citizens.

I've asked around a bit at school who people were voting for... and what disappointed me wasn't hearing who they were voting for. What was, though, was hearing, I'm not voting. Wala nang pag-asa eh. Now I'm not going to be a brownnoser and say that I've never spoken similarly. To my shame, I wrongfully have. But I'll never be one (ever again) to sit on my bum all day long and complain about how terrible a condition we're in, and that there's no hope in change here. There's always hope. Where hope isn't found, however, is in such negative cynisism.

Since I was fourteen, I've been moving back and forth to the Philippines and southern California. I'm not an expert on Filipinos. But what I have seen and experienced is a warm, hospitable, communal people with a great deal of potential of being among the greatest nations of the world. And there is not room for negativity. Putting down the hope of the Philippines is just condemning the Philippines to more embarrassment and shame.

Tomorrow is a big day. And the choice that everyone's going to make will foreshadow what will come for the next few years. I could only wish I was voting tomorrow, because I know that I'd be casting my vote with great confidence that I'd be making the right choice - especially tomorrow, because a great man with real morals is running for president. I'm sure he knew he'd be knocked by millions just because he's a man after God's heart and isn't afraid to let His glory be known in a major way. I'm sure he knew there'd be tons of opposition. I've heard all the stupid comments about him (for those who get to hear me talk about this all day at school - hehe, poor you, pati my blogs na). But anyway... I hope someone out there changes their mind and decides to try to help our country by voting (and voting wisely). We shouldn't sit around speaking so negatively about the fate of our country. Don't waste your chance tomorrow to make a difference. I wouldn't if I could.

Okay, I'll end na nga all of my blabbing.